Confidence
by Perplexity
Summary: “I have overstepped a line, and I will continue to do so until you understand.”
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own, nor did I create, Harry Potter and his magical world.**

**Confidence**

**Part I  
**

"Please, I beg of you," he said. And he never begged.

"I don't know, I really don't know," she replied, taken quite aback.

"Please," he whispered with suppressed sorrow lingering in his voice.

She had never seen this cruel and biting man in such a state. She wanted to help him, she really did, but she didn't know if she could do what he was asking of her.

"Alright," she finally conceded. "I'll do it…tomorrow. In the basement, yes?"

"Yes, in the basement," he said straightening up, trying to pretend that he not just been begging. "No one can know of this, though. If one word leaks from you I will take no mercy upon you, you understand? None."

"You make me feel like I am asking you for something," she said, her lips quirking slightly, even though a certain sadness still etched her face.

"Do you understand?" he seethed.

"I understand."

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A/N: This is a three (or more if I am inspired) part story. The other parts will be longer and less vague than this one. Thank you for reading.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own, nor did I create, Harry Potter and his magical world.**

**Confidence**

**Part II**

Remus Lupin could not sleep. It wasn't really a surprise; he hadn't been able to in weeks. It was nearing three in the morning and the rest of the Order was very much asleep—at least he assumed. They had just had an important meeting, which was the first in their new location. He sighed. The Order would never be the same…not after—Remus cut his thoughts off. No, it was too soon.

Stepping into the kitchen he allowed his thoughts to stray to a certain witch. Her brightness and vivacity—even though she too had been dimmed by recent events—could light up any room, even one in this dingy, cold house. He sighed again. She could never be his. He couldn't allow it.

Remus filled a kettle with water, only just stopping it from overflowing. He was just about to heat it when he noticed a light peering out from under the door that he assumed lead to the basement. Curious, he walked over. Opening the door quietly he could hear a distressed voice. He crept down, keeping out of sight. Nearing the bottom, where he could hear and see, he had to suppress a gasp. Tears nearly started falling from his eyes. He could not comprehend what was happening. It couldn't be happening.

"I am sorry, so sorry," croaked the man at the bottom of the stairs. He knelt in front of a woman, grasping her hands, but not daring to look her in the eyes. "I never meant for it to happen. I didn't."

The woman did not say anything. She looked a little confused, but mostly her eyes shown with compassion, bordering on pity for the man before her.

"I should have never walked away that day. I should have seen then. I—" he faltered."But I killed you anyway. I didn't try hard enough. I betrayed you. You were never supposed to die—I tried. I loved you—I love you. And I will never stop and I will never forget. I can't." The man sobbed. He hugged the woman's knees to his chest. She softly patted him on the head. Tears were now falling from her eyes as well.

How long he stood there, how long the man knelt in front of the women, Remus did not know. After what might have been hours, the man stood up. He dusted off the front of his robes, but ignored the tears staining his face. He made a slight gesture to the woman, whose long red hair suddenly turned to medium mousy brown as her faced morphed into her natural state.

"Severus?" asked the woman. "Are you alright?"

The man glared in response and then said, "I'm fine Nymphadora."

The woman cringed. "Would it be okay if I gave you a hug?" she asked.

"No."

They went silent for a moment, each looking lost in their own thoughts, until Snape pushed passed Tonks, toward the stairwell. Remus sunk back into the shadows the best that he could, but it was not enough. Snape's eyes shot wide open at the sight of Remus. Within a second, his eyes had narrowed into fury and his hand clamped around Remus's neck.

"You!" spat Snape, not able to find a sentence to express his rage. Tonks tried to get Snape to stop, but an invisible barrier held her back.

"I'm sorry, Severus," said Remus, gasping. "I never knew."

Snape became even more infuriated and cast Remus down onto the floor. He caught Tonks on the way down, sending her into the corner of the table. Snape pulled his wand, his eyes shining black. Tonks picked herself up, holding her hand against a gash on her forehead, blood dripping through her fingers. Snape's expression softened. "Move your hand Nymphadora," he said more calmly. She did, and he healed her wound.

Snape then turned to Remus who was getting up. "You foul, meddlesome— " he hesitated for a moment as Tonks stared at him, "— Never speak of this to anyone, or I will be sure that you have very…memorable full-moons." At this Snape swept out of the basement.

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A/N:One part left (unless I write the alternate version that I had intended). Thank you to all for reading and reviewing.

---Perplexity


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own, nor did I create, Harry Potter and his magical world.**

**Confidence**

**Part III**

He was doing it again. Tonks grit her teeth. She had never been on the best of terms with Severus Snape, but after the incident in the basement he had been increasingly unfriendly towards her and Remus. He wasn't outright aggressive most of the time, but she could feel his anger bubbling under the surface. Indeed, he never raised his voice, but it was still so cold that it burnt through her. While that worried her, it worried her even more that when he wasn't interacting with her or Remus he seemed completely hollow with a hint of sorrow that made her think that he was sulking, at least in whatever manner Severus Snape sulked.

It had been two weeks since the incident. The Order had just had another meeting and were to continue it the next morning. Tonks could not sleep, however, so, instead of wasting the night tossing and turning she sat in the kitchen, trying to figure out something to do about this, leaning over a cup of hot tea. She wasn't sure exactly why she cared so much, but she knew there was something in their interaction that night, in the fact that he had trusted her, that made her feel like they needed to be on decent terms and that she had to do something to cheer him up at least a little. As she thought, and thought, another figure entered the room, not noticing—or at least not acknowledging—that she was sitting in the corner.

"Hello, Severus," she said evenly, awaiting a reaction.

"Miss Tonks," he said icily. She almost flinched at his tone—almost, but she would not allow herself. Instead, she decided to try to make conversation.

"Would you like some tea?" she asked, realizing that she really didn't know how to make conversation with Snape.

"It would appear so," he said, as grabbed the kettle and filled it.

"I was meaning to offer to make you some," said Tonks, annoyed.

"And I am making it myself."

"It is not like I am trying make you appear inept. I was just trying to be nice."

"I have no patience for meaningless gestures. Now, if you will, strain yourself a little and stop your insipid chatter."

There was silence as Tonks started to seethe, anger building up in her. It wasn't that his request had bothered her that much. It was really the icing on the cake though. She had had enough of his sneers, enough of him commenting in such a way that made her feel stupid, enough of his hints that Remus was "dangerous." Her anger was not spurred by the comments themselves exactly, but by the fact that Snape took the worst things that a person thought of his or herself and used those insecurities against them—he reaffirmed them.

"That's it! I cannot stand this anymore!" exclaimed Tonks, slamming her mug upon the table. "Why are being so hostile towards me? And Remus, too. I might be able to understand if it were not paired with extreme sulking. I thought the other night helped…"

"Do you really think that that made it any better? That I would suddenly find solace? Even if I could—no I will forever have the guilt, the self-hatred. Even if I could hear her voice again, even if she could forgive me, I could never accept it. I must live with this. I must," snarled Snape.

"No, you do not have to live it. You make yourself live with it," said Tonks. "Then you take your misery out on everyone else. Though, I think the only reason you are acting so angrily towards me is because I have seen you vulnerable. You are ashamed perhaps? Do you think I judge you?"

"Yes. As does everyone. That is what humans do. Allowing others to see inside of you, that is weakness. I might have as well have bared my throat before you."

"And I see what I did? I did not take that opportunity, nor would I now or ever. There are people you can trust, Severus! You can trust me! You did enough that night."

"I should never have! You don't understand, nor could you ever! You just run off with that werewolf and have a good laugh! Poor Severus—well I do not want your pity!"

"Then what do you want from me? You do not seem alright with leaving things well-enough alone, but you won't let me help you either! What am I supposed to do with that? Let you continue to punish yourself and then let you take your anger out on Remus and myself?"

Snape muttered something angrily. Tonks stared hard at him. She realized something; she realized that he really did trust her. If he did not, they would not be having this conversation. He had bared nearly as much of himself in this conversation as he had the other night in the basement. Though he was cold, though there was little emotion in his voice besides anger, he had entrusted his feelings to her. Tonks would have never thought it, but she suddenly felt close to Severus Snape—it felt almost as if he were a friend. And as a friend, he was going to get the full extent of her opinion.

"Fine, remember though, you bring you suffering onto yourself," said Tonks. "But, really what does it do? Makes you miserable? Makes you an arse to everyone? Does your pain make it any better? Does the pain you afflict upon others make up for everything? Maybe you can never forgive yourself, but that does not mean that you must live as you do."

"You—" started Snape, his cold anger burning hotter.

"I have overstepped a line, and I will continue to do so until you understand," said Tonks. "All the hate you hold for yourself overflows, seeping into the air. I do not want to pull this card on you, but don't you think Lily would have wanted you to be happy?"

"I –" shouted Snape, but Tonks just kept talking, not allowing him the opportunity finish his raging thoughts.

"I know, I know. She is dead, so you can't possibly _truly know_ what she would want. But, I still think you know. Come now, Severus. Really think about it. You overlook this because you want to, not because it is untrue. And although you also overlook it, you are a good man. You deserve better than this."

"I am not," he lashed out.

"You are."

Snape looked as if he were shaking in anger, as if he was barely restraining himself from hexing the oblivion put of her. "I have had enough of this," he seethed, with grit teeth. He started to walk out of the kitchen. At the doorway he turned, shaking his head. "You do you think you are?" he asked.

"A friend," said Tonks, with a slight grin.

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The End

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A/N: Thank you to everyone for reading and to the lovely people who reviewed. This is currently the end to this story. I will consider extending it given that I have inspiration, that the story have interest, and that I am confident that I will not ruin it. So, if you are interested in a longer story, please, let me know.

Thank you,

Perplexity


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